The Squire

Presidential candidate says one thing in past, different thing in present

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what Yahoo! News is calling “a shocking blow to the legitimacy of democracy,” a presidential candidate reportedly said one thing in a 2008 interview and a conflicting thing in a recent interview.

The presidential candidate, who has had a short but dense political career, is apparently “not too keen on watching’ his mouth,” someone’s grandmother, 83, said on the phone.

“That boy better watch his behind, ’cause his opponent is mighty formidable, and he’s gonna take him over if he don’t watch those loose lips of his,” she continued.

A representative of the candidate apologized for the him, saying that the comment “just slipped out,” and that the candidate “probably didn’t mean it.”

“Or maybe,” the representative said, “you know, people change; opinions change.”

The candidate is expected to make a statement about his conflicting statements sometime tonight, perhaps restoring the world’s faith in democracy. Until then, however, someone’s grandmother is flouting the political ideology.

“You listen to me,” she wrote, in a letter to democracy, “I’ve got bumper stickers.”